


Assholes R' Us

by flannelsaurus



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: As consent-y as possible, Canon Compliant, Episode Related, Episode: s01e09 Carl's Funeral, F/M, Frottage, Kissing, Marijuana, Masturbation, Missing Scene, POV Stevie Budd, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, assumed sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:47:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27019780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flannelsaurus/pseuds/flannelsaurus
Summary: “Let’s talk about this later?” she admired him for bringing it up, even though she’d rather have a root canal than talk about whatever this was going to mean.“Yeah, or never.”“Or never,” David agreed happily.
Relationships: Stevie Budd/David Rose
Comments: 24
Kudos: 81





	Assholes R' Us

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic. Unbeta'd. Responses keenly welcomed. 
> 
> David and Patrick occupy 99% of my Schitt-brain, but I really wanted to know what happened in the love room from Stevie's point of view.

Who knew Bree’s taste in weed was so much better than her taste in everything else? For ditch weed, this was really quite tasty. Stevie turned her head. David was talking about the stupid hat. Assholes R’ Us? Really? Not a phrase she would normally reward with a chuckle, but her smile was forming whether she liked it or not. Fair, you know, because weed. 

David’s energy was distinctly different. Softer, none of the prickle. Fuzzy, like that sweater he was wearing today. Good, since somehow she was sliding down onto the floor and the sweater felt nice as she passed it. 

The rattle of the doorknob signaling the return of Bree and Sean was 100% not cool. Her feet were up, somehow? David was doing a stoned version of David panic, eyebrows up and mouth open wide in a manic smile as he tried to gather himself and her and the beers all at once. 

“We need to go, we need to go!” He was up and on his feet in a fumbling flash.

Agreed. Okay, feet down, body up. Keys? Where was her pass key? She thumped her pockets as she and David scuttled to the side door. Where were they again? Her own dance with the herbals was making it take 100 years to dig out her key and guide it to the lock. David was right up against her back, urgent. Did he think that was helping? Man, that dude was bad at being helpful. His breath was on her neck, then her hair. Come onnnnnnnn key. 

Out they stumbled, finally, and in the absolute nick of time, damn. Her cousins’ screechy voices covered the sound of the pass door closing. Someone should lock it, but David’s hands were full and her back was flat against the door. Why was it so dark in here? Oh yeah, she was still wearing the hipster-y white aviator shades they’d found on the nightstand. Sean was cursing loudly about the missing Assholes R’Us hat, which was still perched awkwardly on David’s head. His hair was probably un-hat-able anyway. That coif would fight back, armed with as much product as it was. 

“I’m wearing it” David’s giggled words were mostly air and not sound, which was good because they hadn’t managed to progress into the room at all. David had an arm over her shoulder, bottle in hand, fuzzy (angora? Like a rabbit? Sheep? What?) sleeve by her ear. His other hand also somehow contained beer? And yet he could extend his finger toward the hat, his eyes crinkling with amusement. Big hands were an advantage, Stevie thought. Somewhere, dimly, she could swear she was hearing the sound of a record scratch. 

Big hands. David was so close. He was fighting down his laugh but also looking at her, breathless. Oh SHIT he looked at her mouth. She was looking at his mouth now too but of course he couldn’t see. The moment stretcheddddddd, beats of her heart coming once every 5 minutes or so. The motions seemed so slow, his eyes flitting up to hers, tiny forehead frown as he too realized he couldn’t see her eyes, then back down, then a quick breath from him and 

David was kissing her. And fuck if it wasn’t instantly hot. Really hot. How? David was gay, right? Did he have weed goggles? Did her flannel confuse him for a sec? Her sluggish mental protest was cut short as he bodily shoved them both to the side and off the door. She caught his face in her two hands, his stubble rough under her fingertips. There was a twinge in her back as the movement bumped her over a lightswitch. It didn’t do much, must be burnt out oh NO WAIT WAS THAT…...SPARKLING?? She smiled against David’s warm lips as she vaguely slapped at the thumb lock in the doorknob because they were in the fucking love room, disco ball kicked into life by their (really way hotter than Stevie could process) struggle to occupy the same square foot of space. 

The damned love room was the current seat of David’s precious (literally) clothing collection. The room where David had briefly thought her offer of wardrobe protection was a come on and they’d both shrugged the thought off. She hadn’t at all meant sex when she said she’d take care of him, but his interpretation naturally caused her to picture it when he said it. She wasn’t mad at the brief visual at all, but it wasn’t ever going to happen and that was more than fine. Stevie had no trouble living up to the unspoken “don’t bone the guests” policy and enforcing the less unspoken “no making sexual overtures to the clerk when she gives you your key” policy.

The feel of David’s insistent kisses dragged her back into the moment. Her fingers found the sweater, even softer as she brushed her hands up David’s spine over the lush knitted fabric. He was still here, up against her, so of course she was going to touch both him and this sweater. There was the sound of twin thumps as he let the beer bottles drop on the carpet. Spills wouldn't make an iota of difference, not at the carpet’s tender age of at least 25 years. Stevie’s ears tuned into the sounds of David’s breath, quick through his nose as he continued to thoroughly kiss her, his lips parting a little and his large hands now both cupping her jaw with a gentleness that the frantic energy of the start of this make out wouldn’t have predicted. David was unambiguously into this, and she really wasn’t about to object just because of an errant scrap of confusion about his sexual orientation. He was a fabulous kisser: focused, intent, and using his height and weight to full advantage now that he could feel her hands against his back. Sometimes she didn’t like being pinned (short girl problems) but when it was like THIS it just straight up incinerated her drawers. Stevie felt herself humming before the sound actually registered, and she remembered, vaguely, that a million hours or so ago they’d been sharing a joint. 

She moved one hand off his back and up between their bodies, flattening it against David’s chest and pushing. As quickly as the weed allowed him to react (so, glacially) he pulled away from her, questions in his dark eyes, lips damp, breath coming out in a rush. Fuck, looking at David like this was nice. She forgot why she had stopped him for a second, then remembered again, then forgot, and at last the words came to her. She pushed the sunglasses up on top of her head, squinting against the suddenly brighter disco sparkles.

“Uh, is this okay?” her voice sounded high pitched to her own ears, was she nervous? Since when? What?

“Mmm I started it, so, yes? I mean, is this okay for you?” His eyebrows were doing five things at once. 

“I mean we’re high, so…” she didn’t really want to ask if they should stop but even more than that she didn’t want to *not* ask.

“But is that new for us? I’m also of the friendly-while-on-substances variety, I mean, clearly I am, but I feel okay if you do.” 

“I don’t *not* feel okay.”

“Well okay then. Okay.” He didn’t move, though. Ohhhhh she got it. It was up to her, now. How unexpectedly polite. She went up on her toes, both hands reaching for the back of David’s neck to get this amazing kiss back together. She pressed up to him and against him, remembering again that making out with tall people was just really damn sexy. She parted her lips first, this time, and pressed delicately at his full lower lip with the tip of her tongue. Now he was making sounds, humming into it as she had, and he took a step back, easing the leather jacket off her shoulders and scooping her away from the wall with a sweep of his hands down her back.

Stevie tilted herself toward David more, easing him backward toward the scarlet polyester satin-sheeted monstrosity against the far wall. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d turned over this room, which was both good and bad, but dusty had to be better than bio-hazard-y when it came to the state of the bed. Walking a much taller person toward a horizontal surface was not new to Stevie but the weed, nerves (?), and David’s matching physiological state were making the task much more graceless than usual. Finally his calves hit the edge of the mattress and he fell backward on his elbows as though tackled, though Stevie remained (unsteadily) on her feet. The stupid hat fell off, rolling onto its peak, hilarious for some reason. She was giggling as she looked down at David. A quicksilver of something flashed over his face, and she put him out of his misery by sharing her train of thought, stupid as it was. “Assholes R’Them, though” she snorted, jerking her thumb at the door behind her, and his expression shifted through a quickly suppressed grin. 

“So.” Their eyes met. In a sober moment the intensity would have made Stevie crack another joke, but she’d be kidding herself if she didn’t admit her curiosity and attraction dramatically outweighed what an outright bad idea it would be to do sex things with David right now. She couldn’t bring herself to risk breaking the moment; she’d seen him get skittish over way less important stuff than this before. From some crevice in her mind an unwelcome thought rose sluggishly to the surface: David dated models and celebrities. All the time. You didn’t even need to Google him; it made the news sometimes. She shook the thought out of her head. He started it. 

Pulling her lips between her teeth for just a second, Stevie quirked a half smile at him, shaking her head again a little, very like the way he himself non-smiled when something pleased him. Fuck it, she *was* pleased. In one practiced motion she whisked her flannel, tee, and almost-crappiest sports bra off in one go, her hair falling around her shoulders as she chucked the whole shebang off to the side, her gaze fixed on David’s. She kind of hoped it would read sexy to him; she felt pretty sexy doing it. His eyes widened, brows up, mouth opening around a quiet sound, then his expression settled into something more familiar, lips pursed off to one side, and he nodded slightly. A David Rose-style wolf whistle. Flattering. She bit her lower lip around a smile of her own in response. This wasn’t really happening, was it? He held one hand out to her, a clear invitation. She stepped between his legs and he sat up to close the distance between them. His long torso put his face in line with her tits but he didn’t look at them, his eyes were still on her face, and she could feel a blush kicking up. Stevie was pretty sure the weed was making it much easier to do the heavy eye contact thing. She usually avoided a lot of meaningful staring when she hooked up because it just felt too intimate and since David was her high class and dramatic male twinsie, she guessed it was the same for him. 

It was sexy though, the way David was looking at her. Stevie cocked her head and arched a brow, gesturing at the sweater with an open hand. Your turn, she thought at him, hoping he would do it himself. She was pretty sure the Sweater of Softness was worth at least 3 of her paychecks, but also she wanted to watch that shit. Sure enough, the reveal of his body was everything the internet promised it would be, but better. She had only actually looked him up that one time, but the page of hits had included several paparazzi shots of him on vacation with various beautiful people, and some arty looking semi-nudes. Now that she knew David better, he did indeed look like those photos, but softer. Less aloof and more vulnerable, more real. His movements wafted around whatever cologne that was, and that was the other main difference. Google results don’t have smells. Fireplace smell wouldn’t work on everyone but it definitely worked on David. He was fussily folding the sweater and tee now that they were off because of course he was, and the set of his shoulders was tense now that he was partially out of his clothing. How weird for this famously hot guy to be shy at all. 

Stevie carefully took his folded items out of his hands, setting them atop one of the many lush mountains of his garments. When she turned back, David’s eyes were downcast. She slid a hand along his jaw, and his eyes flicked up. Again they were full of questions and complex emotions. At least difficult souls weren’t boring. David was never boring, bless his really expensive boots. Her thumb pressed against his lip and he reflexively opened his mouth to it. 

“Your lip balm sure does work well.” Stevie bit down on her own smile again, and David’s exhale of surprise shot his eyebrows into his hair. Then he was pulling her down as she was simultaneously throwing a leg over both of his and settling herself in his lap. She folded her arms around his bare back as he did the same to her, lips crashing together messily, stifling each other’s giggles. Then suddenly it dropped back into scorchingly hot. She opened her mouth to him and he responded, their kiss deepening, their quiet sounds lost in their shared breath. His chest felt so good against her, solid, the hair tickling her skin slightly. David’s hands were warm along her back, over her shoulder blades, up to her neck and back down. He was always in motion; so she matched him, fingers bumping over his spine, one hand sliding up the back of his head to twine her fingers through the longer strands of his meticulously pomp’d hair. It was far softer than she had guessed it would be.

David was purposefully pulling Stevie down harder into his lap, and she splayed her knees wider to let him drag her against him. Even through their pants, he was obviously hard and getting harder, and she gasped hotly into their kiss at the feel of it. Of him. It had been awhile. As she’d told Alexis, she’d been through most of Schitt’s Creek’s eligible bachelors, such as they were, and lately she couldn’t be bothered to track down a new random. A heavy tingling of want was spreading outward from where David was grinding them together again, and she felt loose and liquid in his arms. Dimly she could still make out Bree and Sean arguing through the far wall, but the sounds were losing distinction, lost in the layered soft moans she and David were making to each other. 

Stevie slid her knees even further apart, feeling a bit of strain given that she worked out zero and was definitely no longer in her 20s, but not at all caring because it dropped her down onto David’s lap even more intensely. Fuck, that felt right. She scraped her teeth against that sexy as hell lower lip of his and he yanked her down again, hard. Well fine, then. She rocked back and then forward, shoving him down onto his back on the bed, keeping hold of him, finding his beautiful mouth again. 

“Stevie??” David turned away sharply. What? Why? Stevie was chasing him down when he caught her face in one hand. What. WHATTTTT. 

“Stevie you work here, did you forget about THAT??!!” What was he talking about?

“What are you talking about?”

“Look!” He jerked his chin up, and his hand left her face to gesture wildly up and over her shoulder. Stevie turned her head. Oh shit. 

“Ohhhhhhh shit.” The ceiling mirror. Jesus Christ. Of course. She moved off him slightly, slotting herself against his side so she could look up more easily. “Um...any chance we can ignore that? 

“You want me to ignore *that*???” his voice was rising sharply; this was a make-or-break moment.

Stevie lifted herself a bit higher on one elbow and blocked David’s view as she looked down at him, her dark hair like a closing curtain as it slid forward over her shoulder. She dragged her hand over his critical pants situation, and his quick breath hissed through clenched teeth. “Yep. I’ll help. Eyes closed, Rose.” She kissed him, getting fully on top of him again, all lips and deliberate tongue until those lovely sounds started up again, then she pressed her mouth to the corner of his and then off along the underside of his jaw. His hands were everywhere, fingertips restlessly tracing the waistband of her beat-up Target clearance jeans. She tilted her head to catch more of his stubble against her lips and cheek because she honestly loved that feeling, focusing on his breath and gorgeous noises as she ran her little sensation experiment on his neck. Finally, under David’s ear she heard what she was listening for. 

“Ohhh fuck,” he muttered, his arms tightening suddenly around her. It was the quietest thing she had ever heard him say. Stevie moaned softly into his skin as she repeated her kiss again and again, provoking another string of murmured curses and the press of his hips up into hers as they fell back into their heated grinding. David’s hands skated down her spine til he was palming her ass, pressing them together harder each time he pushed them up. It was too good, she was so turned on now. She paused her assault on David’s neck, remembering something. His eyes opened, studiously not looking at the ceiling.

“Uh. Do you have condoms? Like, on you? I think there are some in the night table because we’re super classy here but they’re maybe definitely 100% expired.”

“Yeah even if they weren’t that’s a hard pass on dusty condoms from whatever, uh, this room is. And I do, actually.” 

“Are we gonna...need them? I mean, do you want….” Stevie couldn’t quite say it to his face like this. 

“Mhm yes, I definitely want.” oh wow those words made her ears ring. David was rolling them to the side slightly, fishing for his wallet in his oddly angled designer back pockets. He slapped a fancy-looking condom packet down on the bed behind him, and then his fingers were at her fly. Good, at least whatever regret they were taking on wouldn’t last for a whole ass new human’s lifespan. He found her eyes again, waiting, giving her an out. Stevie nodded enthusiastically, raising her brows, not wanting to have to speak out loud again about how much she wanted this. In a flash her pants were open and he was curling his fingertips into both them and her underwear. She shifted a little and he dragged them off, his lips tucked between his teeth, staring hard. Stevie kept things trimmed but didn’t like to shave or wax because the upkeep was annoying and the only person who looked or touched regularly was her. David settled his hand heavily on her pubic bone, rings cool and metallic compared with the heat of his palm, and the pressure sent another jolt of want through her whole southern hemisphere. It was her turn to hiss and curse, and he smiled fully for a second before biting it away as always. 

Stevie reached for him, now. His pants were painted on with a button fly, because of course they were. She struggled with the top button for 3 seconds that felt like 30 before David brushed her hands away and took up struggling with it himself. “I blame cannabis,” he said softly, and then he was peeling the pants down, leaving very smooth looking black briefs in place. She threw a raised eyebrow at him and made a rolling hand motion. Stevie didn’t want to be the only one naked for any longer than was strictly necessary, but then she remembered that she wasn’t actually the shy one in this situation. 

“I wanna see you”, she whispered. Stevie moved to help him get the briefs off. She hooked her finger in the waistband, careful not to lose her grip and snap anything delicate. David was taking a deep breath and she found that she was, too, now that he was fully naked and stretching out alongside her. She stared, his dick looked really really good, flushed and cut and straining upward toward his abdomen, but she didn’t touch him yet. Mindful of David’s (still baffling) shyness, she smiled at him through a bitten lower lip and guided him to bury his face in her neck. His lips parted just below the corner of her jaw and as his tongue found her pulse point, he turned his body into hers, the wet tip of his cock skimming her thigh. “Fuck, David.” His answering soft sound vibrated against the side of her throat.

Heat radiated from David’s skin. Stevie pulled at him and turned her head toward his, wanting to find his mouth again now that they were naked, wanting to kiss away whatever doubt about his desirability might be lingering. She encouraged him to move on top. He leaned on his forearms where they bracketed her head, stroking her hair and kissing her with dizzying thoroughness. She curled her arms up around his shoulders and parted her legs to make room for his body to settle. Their kiss deepened, Stevie matching David’s intensity, pushing herself up against his delectable, solid weight. 

“What do you need?” David’s tone was sweet against her lips, and he kissed her again before she could reply, giving her a moment to consider, and she gave it some honest thought. Usually she prioritized speed when tangling with substances made her too horny. She didn’t get off when she did, but she didn’t need to in order to enjoy the ride, so to speak. Foreplay-wise, she was more than ready, if the heavy throbbing and vaguely steamy feeling between her legs was any indicator. Speed was an option, but whatever this was had drifted into a super languid, sensual mood that she was reluctant to disturb. Would David want to help her come? Stevie always needed to help herself get there, even with the most skilled partners, which used to make her feel kind of broken, but it no longer troubled her. Now she did whatever she wanted, sexually, with zero apologies. Did she feel like getting off, this time? Thinking it over, she was certain David would want her, as his partner, to enjoy this as much as possible. And he’d see through it and/or be hurt by faking or a speed run that clearly left her orgasm-less. And fuck it, it’d been awhile, and David was so absurdly beautiful, and his kisses were melting her brain and

“Um.” What words should she use? While not shy about the facts, saying it was definitely a challenge. “Do you want...uh...are you interested in seeing me...uh…should I…could you...would you like to….” Come on, weed, make this easy.

“The answer to whatever you’re on the struggle bus about is probably yes,” his voice was warm, amused. 

“Do you want to see me come?” Finally, geez. 

“Yup, mhm, yes. Yes, please. But like I said, what do you need?” David’s hands in her hair felt good, he smelled so good. 

“I need to touch myself, and I want you to hold me while I do, and, um. And use your fingers. On me. Well, in me, actually.” Stevie knew her face was red, red, red.

“Hot. Show me.” David kissed her, soundly, possibly trying to fortify her after her nervous-sounding word salad moment. He really wasn’t the entitled douche-prince he’d seemed to be on the day they met. She smiled at the thought, holding his face and returning his kiss intently. He started to ease off her, and at last he pulled away, looking at her face, then down her body as she had done to him earlier. “Mhmmmm, lovely. Show me,” he said again. 

“K. Stay like that.” Stevie turned away from him slightly, settling her back against David’s chest and pillowing her head into his upper arm where it was stretched out on the bed beneath her. She reached back and drew his other arm around her body, so she was completely nestled against him. He felt very hard and hot, pressed against the crack of her ass. David got the point immediately. He hooked his chin over her shoulder so he could watch, and press kisses into her neck and jaw easily. His semi trapped arm could still bend at the elbow, and he pushed that hand against her sternum, his fingertips stroking her collarbone. He placed his other hand on her hip, waiting. Stillness descended on them. Another random flare of nervousness crackled up Stevie’s spine. Even though she’d done this exact thing dozens of times by now, there was something about David’s frenetic presence, calmed a bit from the weed but still buzzing, that gave an edge to the proceedings. She breathed in slowly, and he hummed contentedly in response. 

Letting her eyes fall closed, Stevie found her reliable perfect spot and circled it with her index finger. She shivered against David’s chest, and he tightened his hold on her with a shiver of his own. “Yesssss,” he breathed, the low rumble of his sex voice by her ear turning her on even more acutely, and her finger sped up almost of its own accord. “What do you like?” his words were so quiet again, private, just for her. She tugged on the arm that was around her torso, moving his large hand to her breast, which it covered completely. He dragged his fingertips together to trap her nipple and gently tug it, and pleasure surged through her. “Yeah?” the question was directed into the side of her neck and she nodded, suddenly realizing that she was holding her breath. Air whooshed out of her on a low sound as he repeated the soft pinching motion, again and again, intense, but never crossing into bad pain. Her clit tingled as she worked it, and the accompanying wave of arousal made her restless, her body shifting. 

“Please.” the want in her body was getting really loud. She hoped he would get it, that he wouldn’t tease too much.

“You ready?” Stevie felt his chin hooking over her shoulder again, and she opened her eyes too, she wanted to watch just as much as he did. David’s hand wandered down from her hip, tugging her thigh up and back to open her legs, and the air in the room was slightly cool against where her flesh was exposed and wet. The tips of his fingers slid along the crest of her pelvis, his thumb grazing her wrist where her own fingers continued their intent movements. David tightened his hold on her as he finally made contact with the slick edge of her opening, anticipating and capturing the way the light touch made Stevie’s entire body jolt. He angled his wrist, and they both released audible, shaky breaths as his finger smoothly pushed inside. “You’re so wet, wow.” 

“Mhm, this is hot, so” Stevie shifted again, tilting her hips, arching her neck, closing her eyes again. “Please, more, and move. Please. 

“So hot--” David cut off his own words by opening his mouth against her shoulder, adding a second long and graceful finger and twisting and dragging them in and out, slowly, giving her a moment to deal with their size before he slipped a third inside. His long, slow drags at her nipple continued to build the fire in her body, and between his two hands on her and her own busy fingertip, the sensuality scattered into desperation. 

Stevie’s other hand was clenching and shaking and tapping the bed reflexively, and she could feel herself circling the inescapable vortex of pleasure that would pull her into coming if she got close enough. She could orbit at this exact point for a long time, her body’s responses familiar but also electrified by David and his huge hands and expert fingering and relentless stimulation of her nipples. He shifted between each of them now, not allowing either one to relax, keeping them hard, the ache absolutely delicious and impossible to ignore. She could hold it, should she hold it? His fingers inside her felt enormous, her legs were shaking. “Da-david?”

“Mmm?”

“David, should I? Do you w--”

“Fuck yes, come for me, Stevie. Please come for me. I wanna feel you come.” His warm, breathy words in her ear and his tugging and pushing and gorgeous twisting fingers rubbing her just right overwhelmed her completely as she flung herself over the edge. She fell hard into her orgasm, gasping and shaking and clenching around David’s fingers, trapping his hand between her thighs as her body seemed to curl in on itself. Her head was restless, and she was cursing and whimpering into his biceps, where it was still serving as a pillow. 

“Again? Should I again?”

“Fuck, can you?”

“Uh huh, if I keep go-”

“Guhhhh yes, Stevie, do it, don’t stop.” She continued her frantic rubbing, still curled up and trapping David’s hand between her legs.

“Push hard, now, please, let me feel it.” He seemed to know, he increased the pressure, pushing deeply and flexing his hand slightly, stretching her where her second orgasm was throbbing and clenching tightly around his 3 perfect fingers. It felt insanely good, sound poured from her parted lips and he moved his other hand off her tits to cover her mouth. David continued to apply the curling, exquisite pressure, forcing more pleasure from her body but knowing she wouldn’t want to be overheard as she fell apart in his arms. Fuck it was so, so good. 

Finally the crashing waves calmed, leaving her boneless and weighted to the bed. David was gently withdrawing his fingers, and there was a very obvious wet sound as he pulled free of her. Suddenly she was giggling, and his answering low chuckle vibrated against her back. She felt sweat around her hairline, and a heaviness in her limbs that had nothing to do with her fading high. Stevie turned in David’s arms and stretched up for a kiss. She put all her gratitude for his quiet acceptance and competence into the lazy way she stroked her tongue across his. He groaned into her mouth and she once again felt the wet tip of his cock skid along her thigh. She smiled into the kiss and drew back. Leaning heavily across his chest, she reached for the condom. David’s eyes were huge and dark as he watched her fussing with the packet. 

“Excuse me, Ma’am, can I help you with that?” David’s smirk was a work of art.

“Pretty sure it’s me who’s about to help you.” Finally the stupid thing was open and Stevie blinked quickly to make sure she had it right side up by the light of the dumbass disco ball. She gently wrapped her hand around David’s cock, stroking the hot and impossibly soft skin stretched tight over equally impossible hardness. He looked delectable. Stevie adored a deep dicking after coming like that and she wanted him immediately. Carefully, she rolled the condom down and into place. A rush of energy and her renewed desire had her throwing her leg over his thighs so she could press herself down on him. She was soaked, more than ready, but coming twice made everything tender and she took her time. David felt incredible, filling her completely, just this side of too much. She bit her lip, her head falling back, then she leaned forward to palm his chest, fingers gently twisting in the soft black hair. 

“Oh God, oh my God,” his head was thrown back too, she could just see the movement through her lashes, and his hands came up to hold her hips firmly. Stevie dragged one hand up from his pec, along his neck and jaw to cradle his head. She bent over him, gasping as her movement shifted how and where his cock pressed into her. “Wait, no, fuck,” he was suddenly shaking his head and she froze. 

“You okay?” please be okay, she thought. 

“It’s the fucking mirror, it uh---. Yeah. Can we switch?” his expression twisted anxiously. 

“Excuse you, I don’t like the fucking mirror either.” 

“That checks out. It *is* the actual worst thing I’ve ever seen. Hang on, I got it.” David scooped his hands under her thighs to lift her off him. A tiny whine escaped unbidden at the sudden emptiness between her legs and David’s face cracked into a very brief full smile before he tucked it away. He patted the bed. “On your front.”

“Oh, hell yeah. Yes. Good solve.” Stevie dropped down next to him, perversely thinking that the poly-satin felt kind of good as her skin slid against it. She looked over her shoulder to watch him, and God was David a sight to see. He was sitting on his feet behind her, long thighs splayed, all miles of golden skin and dark body hair, serenely fisting himself and staring down at her like he was starving and she was the very carbiest of buffets. Stevie smiled at him softly and jerked her chin up, inviting him. David eased her legs further apart, then stroked his hands over her ass and up her sides, slowly so it didn’t tickle. He swept her hair off to the side and lowered himself onto his elbows on either side of her head, his outrageous lips pressing hotly against the most sensitive parts of her neck as he sunk his beautiful cock back into her in one long push. 

They both groaned when he was buried fully. David stroked Stevie’s head, waiting, letting her shift and adjust. “You feel perfect,” she whispered. He really did feel perfect, just what she wanted. Just what she needed. Her eyes drifted closed and she squeezed him as hard as she could for a second.

“God, so do you, Stevie. That’s-- fuck,” his curse was a dark hiss of breath.

“Yes, fuck.” She squirmed just a little, delighting in how her every movement transferred directly to his cock and did things to his breathing. David draped himself completely over her back, balancing partially on his forearms so he could move freely but still allowing most of his weight to crush her against the bed. He was warm and heavy, and again the word “perfect” drifted through her mind. His hips rolled, unhurried, smooth and rich, and she interlaced the fingers of both her hands into his where they were shifting restlessly on either side of her head. “Come on, you’re--” the words dissolved on a shaky moan. He had set his teeth in her shoulder and tried a much harder thrust. Stevie tilted her pelvis just a little, her lumbar spine tense under David’s belly, nodding into the pillow, hoping that he’d once again understand her body’s language. 

“Yeah?” David’s word was mostly breath, lips moving against her shoulder, soothing where he’d bitten into her skin. The drag of his cock was intoxicating, pushing aching pleasure into her body. Time slowed as he found the right speed and angle and depth, grinding her into the mattress, deep and dirty and flawless. His fingers tightened in hers, pinning her to the bed with his hands and the heavy thudding of his hips against her ass. Stevie was hot and wet and full, thrilled to be trapped like this under David’s seductive weight. His rhythm was faltering, the signs of imminent climax clear to her from his ragged breathing and shuddering movement. Christ he was obscenely sexy. 

“Yeessss David, come on. That’s mine. Give it up.” his surprised and broken little cry skated down her spine. He was biting again, teeth sharp at her shoulder, whiskers scraping the nape of her neck. Stevie realized she was holding her breath, not wanting to miss a single sound that their fucking was ripping from David’s throat. 

“Stev---Stevie?” he was spasmodically crushing her hands in his as he chased his pleasure. 

“Mhmmm, that’s it.” Deep inside, she squeezed him again, as hard as she could, wanting to toss him in the fire where she had burned earlier. Suddenly his back was arching, one long arm slinging around her torso to bring her up with him, crushing her to his chest as his orgasm knocked him back. Stevie moaned right along with David as the sounds of his pleasure tumbled from his lips. 

The tension dropped out of them both in a rush, and he landed slightly to one side of her as he collapsed in a boneless heap. Stevie shook her hair out, stretching, and looking over at the wreck that used to be David with a smug rush of joy. “Un huh, un huh, ffffffffffff, mhmmmmm” he panted. She pulled it together enough to deal with the condom and get the sheet up and over their legs. When she settled, she found that he was looking over at her, a soft smile on his face. He was too far gone to hide it the way he usually did. Leaning in, Stevie pressed one last kiss to his gorgeous mouth. She’d miss this.

“Let’s talk about this later?” she admired him for bringing it up, even though she’d rather have a root canal than talk about whatever this was going to mean.

“Yeah, or never.” 

“Or never,” David agreed happily. Stevie threw the tissue box from the bedside table at the lightswitch across the room, and it magically succeeded in killing the disco ball. They giggled into the dark.

**Author's Note:**

> Stevie's little self-touch idiosyncrasy is a self-insert I've never seen represented in a fic. Thanks for witnessing my therapy effort about it. <3


End file.
